passion is non-quantifiable, which makes it all the more annoying. you ca not measure how much you love another person; love is beyond all principles of accounting. neither can you demand that people love you as much as you love them. you can not compare what can not be quantified. and that’s a fact. don’t dare argue with me. just leave it at that. accept it.
"I don’t know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don’t know your face no more
It’s just a place I’m looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well, we might as well, we might as well"
missing someone has got to be one of the most painful things one can go through in life.
i miss him. God, how i miss him. almost every song i hear reminds me of him; every movie reminds me of him; every sweet and cheesy line that i hear reminds me of him; practically everything reminds me of him… and it sucks.
a thousand times i’ve dreamed of him’ a thousand times i’ve dreamed of being with him; a thousand times i’ve dreamed of holding his hand; a thousand times i’ve dreamed of kissing him; a thousand times i’ve thought of calling him; a thousand times i’ve considered visiting him. when will it end?
check out my other blog at: http//www.xanga.com/daralyanna
the allergy keeps coming back. what the heck is causing it??
lately, the pain isn’t as troubling as it used to be. but right now i just want to cry. the pain that’s growing in my chest seems like it’s not going to end.
he sent me a message. HE sent ME a message. part of me was screaming’ "don’t open it! don’t even dare to read it. delete it IMMEDIATELY." but it was there staring me right in the face. how could i just ignore it? besides, i miss him. i’ve been wondering how he’s doing these days. i worry if he’s relapsed or something. (note: those of you who don’t understand what i’m talking about, don’t even bother to try and understand.) and even if i hear from a very dear friend that "he" is doing just fine, i want to hear it from "him". and so i read the letter. as i read it, the pain started building up, the urge to talk to him resurfaced, and a sudden need to cry emerged. i’m still hurt by all this but i comfort myself with the fact that this is what i need and that i will learn something from all of it. but to know that he’s hurt doubles the hurt inside my aching heart. and he said that he called. he called!ouch. tears are starting to well up. *sniff* *sniff* he said he’ll wait for me. *sniff* *swoon* it’s sweet and very romantic. i’d like that.
i want to send him a message too. but no. this is enough. knowing that he’s doing okay in spite of the hurt that he feels, i feel some sense of relief.
and i love you. i don’t care if you don’t get to read this. i. love. you. this is all i really need. to say it out loud. and i am, by the way. i’m really saying it out loud as i type it down.
*sigh* if only he knew how much i really do need this… and if it weren’t for the fact that i do, i wouldn’t put myself up for this. *sigh*
*swoon* he said he’d wait for me. *smile faintly* i repeat: i’d like that. but is saying this some way of imprisoning him? is it depriving him of happiness somehow? CAN he really wait? what if it takes too long? will he still be there? oh, i don’t know. i really shouldn’t trouble myself with that. all that really matters right now is that i love him, and that he loves me too.
this picture is from our ph
oto shoot. just check it out… it’s "different".
oops. it’s too small. just check it out in my profile nalang…
my sister is sick and she barfed up a lot of food. i am posting this because i do not want to forget this moment. i have never seen her this sick before. never. i didn’t know that it was possible for her to vomit.
yes, that had to be the best photo shoot my sister and i have had. soooomany new pics. haha i’ll be posting them soon so check them out. nyahaha!
i got to bond with my grandmother. *gasp* yes, one of my most least liked people on the phase of this planet. but today, things are pretty different. i had fun with her. she was so cute. *giggle* she’s just like a kid. really! now as i look back at all the times i talked back and swore against her, i feel a pang of slight guilt. i still remember praying that she’d die. i am that evil.
she just cared — that was it. i never saw the real reasons behind her incessant naggings and comparisons between me and "the favorite." she still does it every now and then, though. and i admit that the evil side tries to take over but fails to do so. a part of it does manage to surface. and that part starts to think dark thoughts against her. so she’s still pretty much jabba the hut to me. but she’s MY jabba the hut. and i love her even if she’s like that. i. love. her.
i found a caterpillar on our dining room table. and it was on the area where i usually sit. could this be the culprit behind the bumps on my poor, poor arms? which reminds me, they’re barely noticeable now. thank you, antihistamine! nyahaha! *smile* and don’t worry. i’ve been kind to the lil critter. i picked it up using a newspaper and placed it on a plant. i am more loving to insects now as it seems. haha! well, just today.
